I'm baaack!

So many weddings, so little time! In the mad, whirlwind world of Second Life love is definitely in the air! Just like in the real world, weddings in SL are as unique as the people saying their vows.





In the past few months I've been in 2 weddings as maid of honor. One was held in a castle high in the sky, the other on the edge of a cliff in an elegant, traditional setting to rival any in the physical world. I've attended lavish weddings and simple ones on the beach with only a few guests. One wedding was abruptly cancelled on it's eve with only the cryptic explaination of "technical difficulties." It was not rescheduled and I noticed that the pair were no longer partnered shortly thereafter. Yes, even in a virtual world couples get cold feet.





But, by far the most fun wedding was our own! Bo proposed on one knee on the balcony of our island home on September 24, 2008. I had expected it at some point but despite knowing that it would eventually happen, I was nevertheless very emotional when the moment actually came to pass. In fact, I was so excited I said yes before he even asked! Fortunately one of us had the presence of mind to focus. "Let me ask you first, darling," he reminded me patiently. Well, oookay....geesh, details, details lol





What followed in the following days was a fun, albeit sometimes frustrating hunt for a church. We had both decided that we wanted a traditional wedding with all our friends witnessing our union, complete with an officiate to marry us with vows, a blessing and a full works reception. In other words, the whole enchilada.


If anyone has planned a wedding in real life, it's about the same. Couples still have to discuss and agree and make decisions. What type of church, what type of ceremony, traditional or personalized, Christian or civil, chapel, church or cathedral, music, flowers, color theme, bridal party, tuxes, dresses, bouquets and boutonnieres (or button holes as they are called in Europe). And, that's only for the church. There's also the reception, DJ and music selections, first dance song, to throw the bouquet and garter or not, cutting the virtual cake (yes) and the best man's toast. Needless to say, there was very little time to go dancing (although we did manage to plan "nonwedding" days to keep ourselves from getting frazzled).

Everything actually fell into place fairly easily for us at first. It only took a few days to find "the perfect church" which also happened to have "the perfect reception" area. Plus, they also happened to have the date we wanted open! The very last time slot! We grabbed it. With that booked and done, we could breath a collective sigh of relief and enjoy the next few weeks of engagement plotting out the other wedding details.

Ha, as they say the best laid plans...As it happened, Bo and I were Best Man and Maid of Honor for a couple's upcoming wedding. Because the European way is to not fuss over your own impending wedding until a friend's wedding is over, we didn't mention the date nor our plans to our friends. That is, until the night of their bachelor/bachelorette party when, I could hold it in no longer and blurted out that our wedding invitation would be arriving shortly and to make sure it was opened outside because it was quite large (a major understatement). When I said the date it quickly became known there was a "problem." Uh-oh our intended Best Man was going to be out of town! Big uh-oh. So we had to quickly decide if we wanted to change the date --that is, if the reception place had an opening for the night before. The good news is that they did--the last spot again but it could be ours. The bad news was that because it was now a Friday night instead of Saturday, many of our friends would not be able to attend because of time zone issues, including a long time friend who had offered to DJ our reception.

We weathered all the challenges with a humor, patience and lots of love. Little did we know that one of the biggest challenges was still ahead of us--the quest for the perfect wedding ring set! In SL hours are like days so to say we spent days and days looking for wedding bands is no exaggeration. I think we visited every jeweler in SL and saw every possible ring set. Then, we finally decided...or so we thought. I exercised my female prerogative to change my mind and so the hunt began again. I'm glad we did. I love my wedding ring set and wear it proudly. It was worth every minute of the hunt.

My wedding dress had to be perfection. No, it had to be beyond perfection. I found the perfect gown very early in the search but of course I kept on looking...and looking...and looking. I think I tried on every gown demo in SL but I kept coming back to "that" one. I thought about it and realized it just needed a few extra customized touches and it would be my perfect dress. So, I contacted the creator at Adiva Bridal and asked could she do this and that? And, amazingly she said yes. Now, if you knew how rigid and/or finicky most SL designers are, this was no small feat. I asked her to add long, fingerless opera gloves. Done. Then I asked her to add a ring of crystal flowers around the waistband to match the headpiece. Done. I had my perfect creation!

In the end, on October 24, 2008 Bo and I exchanged vows in front of over 25 friends at the church at Fanatasia Island. Our attendants were Simon, Charlie, Cirrus, Apache, Anna and Gen. Our first dance song was supposed to be "The Power of Love" by Celine Dion but the DJ goofed up and played "Falling Into You" instead. It's a beautiful song but we've decided at our 1 year anniversary to have a recommitment ceremony and have "The Power of Love" officially played as our song. Wouldn't that be lovely? Maybe Celine Dion will be in SL by then :)

So, that's what I've been up to. I've lots more to report, more fun times, more events and lots more memories. Stay tuned as my SL journey continues!





<--Puglet (USA) & Jim (Australia)'s wedding Oct 2008

<-- Our wedding Oct 24, 2008

<---first dance

To Have and To Hold

Many people don't understand the emotional and mental intimacy virtual reality relationships can create. When SL only offered text it was still an incredibly close experience but once voice became available, oh my that changed everything! The avatar you were hanging out with, sharing your thoughts and dreams suddenly became real. This may have changed some relationships, I suppose-- some for the worse or some became even closer. Once the voice was there it with all the nuances of every day life, where you could hear their joy, frustration, annoyance and adoration (one hopes) all of us took a giant leap from fantasy to reality.

One of the by products of all this mingling is love. Yes, even avatars fall in love! And because we are creatures grounded in our other world rituals, we bring carry this over to our virtual lives. Viola, the virtual wedding!

Now, don't you go rolling your eyes! Weddings are big business in SL. Sure, avis could all live together in moral anarchy but most of us don't. We like commitment just as well as our flesh and blood counterparts! Some things aren't quite the same--the food isn't eaten but it's still purchased and displayed. That's one of the oddities of Second Life. Can't eat it, but you are a bad hostess and a major virtual faux pas if you don't have it for your guests. Go figure. Same goes with the virtual bar. Some guests even fall down drunk if they have the right script. Mostly people just have fun, dance, chat in text, speak to one another in voice IM or public voice.

Let's not forget all the planning! There is a reception place to reserve, music to consider (DJ or stream?), bridesmaids & dresses---oh yes, wedding gowns, flowers and invitations, even marriage certificates. All of this costs serious lindens (money), too!

Linden Labs, the creators of our wonderful world, hasn't offered the ability for their citizens to change their name after marriage. Sighs...so many people resort to posting a group title over their head, ie: Jane's husband, Jim's wife for all the world to know they are an official couple just in case one hasn't taken a peek at their profile. There is such a thing as "partnering" in SL. It's their version of "we are together." It's in the profile but nothing says married like a wedding!

So far there aren't wedding announcements yet in SL newspapers but it's only a matter of time, I think. How long do SL marriages last? Well, the divorce rate is probably equal to real life but that doesn't stop anyone from giving it a try. I do know several couples planning on meeting in real life with the hope that their real world compatability will equal their SL experience. If it is, they all say they will continue in real life with the intention of marrying! Now, that's cool. After months and months of sharing online will the real world transition be any easier?

I'll be following some of these meetings and let you all know :)